This is a repost from one of Errol’s 2019 writings. To date, it has been one of the most popular blog posts. Enjoy!
Showers!
Well, we are finally off lockdown as of today and I am looking forward to a shower during this afternoon’s dayroom. It’s been three days since the last, and three days more before that since the next-to-last. Combine that with a limited five-minute shower and you will begin to smell the problem. Thankfully, it’s been rather cool out which limits the sweating.
I’m realizing how nice it is to be clean; how good it feels. I suppose one takes cleanliness for granted the same way the healthy do, only realizing it in hindsight or a period of good health, once one is sick, or as in cleanliness’ case, dirty. But the scary part is, after a couple of days, after you’ve sullied your sheets and your clothes, you kind of get used to it. You get used to the dandruff and the itching and scratching, the stickiness and the rashes and red spots. You give in and deal with it.
Looking ahead to my shower (and I am!), I’m realizing that if I do not change my sheets, if I do not wash my clothes, I will quickly return to my dirty state; especially since the next shower is three days hence. The sticky-sweaty feeling will come back, the itchy dandruff will return, and once again I’ll be living in filth.
You may be asking, “What does this have to do with anything?”
Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been here now almost fifteen weeks, and with the exception of the first week, we have not had any church; the chapel has been under construction and I guess there is no place to hold a service. I haven’t been able to bathe spiritually. Yes, I’ve till been reading my devotionals and my Bible daily. However, that’s kind of like reading a book on the history, theory and philosophy of showering. It’s good to know, but until you put it into action, it’s not really going to do you much good.
Maybe I’ve been simplifying it because, yes, I can and do still pray, still mediate. I still try to suppose God’s will into my life in those little encounters with other individuals and when trying to plan for my future. But to be honest, my prayer life has been suffering, especially with all of the noise and distractions. And when I have my little interactions I often am taken by surprise or just don’t know what to say or do to do His will, or I just plain forget and immerse myself in the moment, only realizing I let Him go at a later time.
I need church the same way I need to read God’s Word and pray. I need to hear His word. I need to be in fellowship with like-minded brothers-and-sisters-in- faith. I need to worship and sing as a part of the body of Christ. I need to be able to put my faith into action; the more, the better. After all, the two parts of the greatest commandment, the commandment of love, are to love God with everything you are and have, and love your neighbor as yourself; and one can’t obey this command alone.
No, one doesn’t always realize how important something is until it’s gone, especially when it’s taken from you. I remember when I was on the outside, at times, for whatever reason, for whatever excuse – anxiety, depression, laziness, conflicting agendas – I would decline, or simply miss spiritual opportunities. I didn’t really realize what I was doing because usually, I would fill up the gap with something else, concealing my spiritual emaciation, distracting me from the reality.
This was in spite of the fact that, with a few exceptions, every time I went to church – be it for service, worship, choir practice, religious instruction, or youth functions – I was glad I did; I was happy, excited, full of energy and life. I didn’t want such activities to end, and in fact, I even longed for them days afterward. I got the same feeling in my stomach as when I thought about a girl I liked, and thought that maybe she like me too.
Then, as time went by, as routine set in, I became distracted, interested again in my own agenda, engaged in worldly things, and when the next church event came up, it was an inward struggle once again. The longer it had been since I last attended, the easier it was to dismiss the current activity, not realizing how spiritually filthy I had become. And at some point, I suppose, I even began, in a perverse way to enjoy my own filth.
Though I was ignoring God; not giving Him the respect He deserved, and grieving His spirit, He was still in my heart, patiently waiting in love. About a year before the accident, the reason I find myself in my current situation, I was determined to change. I cried out to God in prayer, “Make You the center of my life again!” I then set out with the method of baby steps, increasing the clean in my life and decreasing the filth. And I was succeeding, not in a straight line, but over time I was cleaning the filth.
I was, however, unfortunately, keeping filth in my life. Would my method have worked to make me clean? I like to think it would have, but maybe not. If after bathing I return to my dirty sheets, how long will I stay clean? Perhaps God allowed circumstances to unfold as they have so that I may in no way boast, so that He may truly answer my prayer.
Brothers, sisters, youngsters who are not yet accustomed to your filth; let us keep ourselves clean, bathing regularly in fellowship, washing ourselves in His Word and His Love, repenting when needed, and let us keep our lives, our environments and circumstances, as clean as we can as much as depends on us. Don’t give in, even a little, “And don’t give the devil a foothold (Eph 4:27).”
If this sounds too hard, too strenuous, too impossible, remember, you have the Spirit of God in you, and His Strength, and His Power. You may not be able to do it, but He can. Do you trust Him?
As Paul the apostle said, “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength (Phil 4:13).” And Jesus himself tell us, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27).”
